Looking Back

Lyrical Status: Solange “Sol Angel & The Hadley St. Dreams”
Feeling: Indescriable

After looking back from my first Xanga post to the most current I’ve realized I’ve changed over the years and for the better. To ever get rid of this Xanga blog would be to lose a piece of myself and I just couldn’t do that. Sometimes it may seem to others that I have abdoned ship but I haven’t. Lately I’ve been posting private blogs to get a lot of stuff off my chest that I wouldn’t want just everybody to know. Some things that I laughed at on my blog are the pictures. Oh my gosh. I’ve grown up but as my friends says I still look twelve. (I laugh at them for that!) Something that almost made me cry was when I poured out a lot of emotion in my previous blogs and I don’t do that as much now but I should it’s normal. I was quick to put everything I thought in my blog and I’m going to try that and see how it works. I’m not going to give you everything though not in 2008. (lolz) I almost cried looking back at some of the family photos. My father is in jail and this is going to be the second holiday season without him and I miss him and can’t wait until February comes. (Hopefully he’ll be home). He may not be my biological father but I love him as if he is. He’s been there for me from day one and I will always be able to depend on him. The notion of my parents not being together anymore. That hurt me but I guess I’ll have to get over it just like they are. I hope it doesn’t turn out that way but if it does it does. What can I do? It’s beyond all my power. Just staying out the middle is a hard enough job so I don’t want to be involved.

Then there’s the photos of my cousins when we all took that trip to Atlanta, oh my gosh. They’re not even the same people anymore. They have grown up and come a long way. Then the trip to Cedar Point with my dad, my brother, my dad’s sister and her kids was fun. My brother doesn’t even have hair anymore. He looked like a baby now he’s all grown man ish! SMH Oh my gosh! If I could go back in time. A lot of people change over time and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I feel that the person at the beginning of the oldest blog has went from being a girl to a young woman. So as a young woman I feel the need to reintroduce myself.

My name’s Chardae’ I live in Pittsburgh I’m nineteen years old and will be turning twenty on February 13th, 2009. I’m an aquarius and my fashion style. I love denim. I could wear jeans everyday if I wanted to and I’m not afraid to spend a lot of money on one pair of jeans. If I have it, it’s worth it. I’ve never liked animals. I’m afraid of most of them and the other ones annoy me. I attend Carlow University and I am a sophomore studying creative writing and I might pick up another major in Web Design. My school colors are purple and gold. I have two brothers, a sister, two stepbrothers, and three step sisters. The word step doesn’t mean anything to me. I still love them dearly even the ones who could care less.

 I wouldn’t say I’m a social butterfly but I have a circle of friends and I’m good at making new friends. I have a certain new friend who I believe in dearly and I like this friend. Definitley different then other people. This person’s motivation motivates me to do what I need to do. As far as my martial status. I’m single but I hold a very close and complicated frienship with my ex that I’ve known since Jr. High. I love him dearly and I’m not afraid to admit that anymore. Although we are not together he’ll always have this special place in my heart. I guess I’m a sucker for love.  My favorite flower is a white rose. I’ve learned that flowers are nice but gardening is not my skill. I’m going to stop claiming favorite colors because they change every day. I love the mall absolutley and can’t just pick one store. Whoever invented the idea of the mall. I love them. (lolz)  Some of my favorite obsessions are shopping (duh) and music. I love R&B, Pop and Hip-Hop. Preferbly new sounds. I get excited to hear different things. I’m not afraid to go against the grain and stand out. In high school I was that person who blended. Now I like to be noticed for being different than everybody else. Whether it’s for my style or my personality. There’s nothing wrong with different and there’s nothing wrong with change. Sometimes you have to move on to grow up and I love it.

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