& What’s Missing?

   I look at my blog now & I look at years ago when I first got addicted to Xanga and I’ve realized what it’s missing now a days. My blog is missing raw emotion. That “Omg I’m having a bad day. I might not have any money for my books because my jobs chaotic” type of emotion. It’s not as personal as it used to be and I can’t figure out why. Why was I so willing to put everything out and why did the words for my emotions come out so easily than and not now? Hmm that’s something to ponder on. Lately I write what’s on my mind and then after the fact I figure out why I wrote it. Which is backwards thinking but everything I do is backwards.

So far everything’s been going good. The school year hasn’t even began but this Orientation leader thing (3rd year in a row I’ve been picked) is tiring. I’m doing like 12 hour days and it’s for a week and we get like four hundred dollars. Too bad I won’t be getting this month, but that’s a whole different story. Ugh! Now I have to rearrange my finances and I hate asking for money but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do I’ll make it work some how.

Speaking of school year, technically it’s already started. I missed my first class and had no idea because it’s an adult student class that I really wanted to take. My life is so chaotic but I guess it has to stay busy wouldn’t trade it for the world.

&  I talked to Alex (my boyfriend if that’s what we shall call him- we don’t have a label but it’s been on and off since Jr high) and we had this deep conversation the other day about the future and how we’ve been through so much and we’re still there for each other. I miss him and I hope things work out. Can’t wait til December comes. He comes home from the Navy and he deserves a vacation. I told him even though I’m in school when he comes home I want to spend every moment of my downtime with him. Although in the past we’ve been through hell and back to get where we’re now, I wouldn’t trade the bad times for the world because that’s what made us stronger. He’ll always be my friend before anything else and I love that. If you find something that good you just don’t let it go without a fight, trust me.

Well please enjoy some pictures from my first Pirate’s Game. They won, which they don’t do often. I enjoyed myself & I hope it’s one of many firsts for the year.