& Past, Present Future

“Writing is a form of therapy. Sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the panic fear which is inherent in the human situation.” –unknown (Seeking Happiness)

& Madness, a great way to describe life right now….

I’m more than just a secretary with dreams of one day having a bestselling novel and I guess someone noticed that because my job was eliminated as part of the ten cuts they did at my job.  I work at the school I graduated from. Now I’ll be working as an assistant to the Dean. I don’t mind though, I was really bored in my current position so I can’t complain. I rather have a different job than no job at all. It’s funny because I’ve been praying for something else, and what do you know, something else comes up.  It’s very worrisome though, I’m starting to question the job stability here. They told me they moved me because they didn’t want to fire me. It probably had something to do with my stellar work here as a student. College definitely was the best four years of my life but I’m going to make sure the next four are just as awesome. It was definitely a transition for the books. College is not the real world and once the student loan bills start coming in you begin to question what happened in college and where’s the job you thought you would have? I’m personally getting over trying to find a decent writing job so I’m going to invent one myself. I’ll be sending one of my manuscripts out by the end of the year. I will be a published writer. I’ve also been making some side money. I designed invites for my cousin’s coworkers baby shower and I charged her a little more than usual because she asked me to do the printing work also. I’m also managing a website for my best friend’s jewelry line she’s making. She makes jewelry and she truly enjoys it. You can check it out here. This bracelet is my favorite.  I made a quick fifty dollars by cleaning out my closet and getting rid of shoes I don’t wear anymore. I sold them on Ebay and it was excellent.

Sunday my family had a Family Meeting and it went the way of a VH1 Reality Show Reunion special. It started out as everyone being passive and not wanting to step on any toes as they enjoyed food waiting for everyone’s arrival. My Uncle never showed & the meeting was regarding him and getting his life together. He has three children, a Masters Degree and no job because he “doesn’t want to work for the man”. Yet he doesn’t want to get out of my pappy’s house. My pap has been dead for five years and my Uncle swears he’s fixing up the house but he doesn’t have the means to do so. He’s been squatting in the house with no utilities on or nothing. It’s really sad. SMH My mom wants the house really bad and she has the resources to get what needs to be fixed done. My dad wants to do it badly. I would love to move in that house. Growing up I had two rooms in that house, I had one room I slept in and a play room. With five bedrooms and 2 ½ bathrooms that house is a treasure. My Pap probably wouldn’t want us to argue over the house but he sure wouldn’t want it to go to waste either. My Uncle claims someone stole the stained glass window, which I highly doubt because that window is huge.  The longer we let my uncle procrastinate about getting his life together, the more things tend to happen to that house.  At this point of the game, my mother really needs a new house because her lease is up and we’re tired of living in the city off the bus line. I hate driving to work and she’s so far away from her job it really doesn’t make any sense why we moved in the first place.

& The Past
I spoke with my ex last week and it went exactly how I imagined. He’s full of himself. He says it’s my fault we broke up and totally made me out to be the bad guy. I didn’t even read his last email because I was beyond tired of his excuses. I did stop talking to him abruptly because he didn’t tell me he was moving in with the mother of his children, he didn’t tell me she had possession of all of his money and he didn’t tell me he was still married to her. I was not staying around to hear his excuses.  I am not boo boo the fool. -_-  It was for the best though.  I used to think I lost a good friend but nope, a good friend wouldn’t have hurt me the way he did so I don’t even want to be friends anymore. Not talking was way better than trying to resolve our issues. Case closed, time for a new adventure…

& The Future

I’ve been writing a lot lately. New projects are awesome. I’ve also been scared of driving and in fact I hate it. I drive to work and home and I don’t like going other places if I have to drive. Like last weekend my best friend wanted me to go to the South Side to party and I was like I’m not driving over there. She ended up coming to get me and we had a very good time. I don’t mind putting gas in anyone’s car just being in a car accident changes your whole perception on driving. It’s very overrated.  I personally can’t wait to move close to a bus line because I’m seriously considering getting back on the bus. As far as relationships, I’m pretty much enjoying being single, living in the present and taking everything a day at a time. If I happen to meet a really nice guy who deserves my time that’s great but if I don’t I’m totally okay with that. I’ve learned from the past to not settle for anyone who doesn’t deserve me. It’s crazy how loving someone can drain you.

How’s you week going?

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