Ghosting – Going silent instead of rejecting and or effectively communicating with a romantic partner.
Imagine if the screen wasn’t involved in the situation and you were at a bar with a person and mid conversation they just walked away. It wouldn’t be okay and technology has kind of desensitized us to feelings being attached to the owner at the other end of the screen. Some people ghost people to avoid conflict of hurting the other person’s feelings but I discovered my past pattern of going ghost instead of saying I’m not interested was unhealthy for both parties. I have a grave yard of ghosted interactions and had to be honest with myself. My sparing their rejection was only self serving as no one can read minds and no one likes to sit around wondering how the other person feels. It’s okay not to be romantically interested in them. As someone that was in a decade long on and off relationship I know time is a priceless currency and wasting someone’s time is worse than wasting their money. That’s time that person could be focused on dating someone else.
Ghosting may be popular but it’s not emotionally mature behavior and learning that early on helps everyone involved. In other aspects of my life I’m not afraid to say what’s on my mind like asking my boss for a work from home day or asking for a raise. Why should dating be any different? Why is it that some minds jump to spare this person’s feelings but continue to date even if you’re not interested?
Communication is a two way street and technology has created all these intersections and back roads. My New Year’s Resolution was to travel twice a year but I excelled at that, publish two books (totally rocking that), and now with two months left I’m adding being emotionally responsible with people’s time. If I’m going to date I’m going to remember how things were before the smartphones. Dating was so much easier before phones were involved. Have you been ghosted or ghosted someone?
OMG It's Just Daé 
I have been out of the dating scene for a long time but I have friends that talk to me about this all the time! Great read; you spoke to a major issue amongst young people attempting to date. “Ghosting” is something that has been allotted because people don’t hold themselves accountable for their actions/emotions. It’s ok to just disappear and move on to the next player.
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I have ghosted a few people in my past and looking back at it I realized it was just because I wasn’t mature enough to confront them kindly. Even if it is to say “goodbye, you are not for me”, I think there IS a way to say it with compassion with respect and with tact. As an adult now, I see the value of just facing the person and being honest. It benefits both parties on both ends, I totally agree!
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I have definitely been on the receiving end of being ghosted. It is not fun. He came back later as if nothing happened.
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Hahaha me too!!! I wrote about it! Feel free to check it out and share yours!
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That first line got me – I haven’t been in any relationships and I haven’t stepped into the dating scene but I can still relate. even in friendships, any form of relationship tbh, it’s very easy to let that screen get in the way in the hopes of simplifying a situation short term but long term that effects tend to cause more problems. Great post!
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I think I have done that. In my first serious relationship I had a tendency to hide behind technology instead of expressing my feelings. It was very immature but it has allowed me to know what not to do in future relationships.
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