I am in no way proposing such a thing because I’m single. After my last (almost decade long on/off) relationship I’ve been happily dating myself (it’s less stressful by far). Back when that relationship started, unlimited texting was expensive and selfies weren’t even selfies yet. Talking was pretty much the only thing we used phones for and even that had to be done after seven as nights and weekends were free.
I wouldn’t say technology made dating harder but will say it’s made dating a little lazier.
Sure, ghosting is a thing now but beyond that dating in a digital world has its upsides and downsides especially since people seemingly detach themselves forgetting that there’s a person on the other end of the screen.
Cuffing season sounds cute but hopefully in 2018 peeps approach dating as an emotional mature long-term thing and not a seasonal opportunity. Going forward let’s modify/cancel “cuffing” for seasons and leave these dating behaviors in 2017.
“Let’s go out on Tuesday at 4.”
A decade ago that meant showing up at 4pm as texting wasn’t exactly free yet. Your date might not have had their own phone yet and calling the house phone to cancel last minute was stressful. Showing up was a commitment or canceling was work.
“I’m sorry I was busy doing xx.”
– 2 days later
People are busier than ever but if said people are seriously interested in dating you, they’ll make getting to know you a priority. Unless you’re dating a celeb or a super important official (LDRs excluded), 2 days later sounds like a bad romcom and will do nothing more than frustrate the other person and no one genuinely likes to be frustrated.
“Why don’t you just come over.”
– 2 days into talking
Call me old fashioned but there’s absolutely no way I’m showing up at someone’s house that is interested in dating. I’m very protective of my space. That’s where I draw the line at being free spirited. Unless you’re hosting a party and I can bring a friend, inviting strangers over is never a good idea.
(Playing so hard to get that you’re hard to read.)
Be emotionally mature enough to use your words and communicate. Sure, a little bit of a chase might be thrilling for a tiny while when getting to know someone, but after a while the other person is guaranteed to get exhausted of the adventure of getting to know you and in a way you’ll just end up friend zoning yourself. Having to guess if someone you’ve been out with a few times is interested in dating you, is zero fun.
Bonus: “Let’s not date but do everything that people are dating do.”
This isn’t digital per se but it’s popular. Unless both parties talked about said friendship it’s not fun. It’s a fancier friends with benefits type of thing that sounds like one person (or both) is being a stand in until one person (or both) is ready to be emotionally ready to use labels.
On the other hand technology can be used for good if paired with emotional and social intelligence. Otherwise you’re just wasting each other’s time. What are some dating trends that you wish would go away for 2018?