& Crown Skin

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You sat in the sun too long

Taunts from my peers haunted the elementary halls
What’s self-esteem?
Little ‘ol me wouldn’t have known it
break little girls down
before they can even know it

It seemed like I went through
an eternity of teasing
before I embraced my skin.
“This is it, this is me. I can’t change it. You want to hurt my feelings pick something else try again.”

Adult me chuckles at how my former bullies now want to be friends
and all of a sudden my
“chocolate” *eye roll* skin is a trend.

Words are words and they sting a little, true
They stick with you
faces and all until you
learn to love you and forget them all.
From the girl who threw my shoe into traffic
to the constant classroom harassment
My coping mechanisms were a distraction.
Elementary me was a freaking disaster.

I glow now stuck between grateful and confused to how melanin is like this attraction
like big butts and big lips and dark skin
Yay! It’s all in!
Where was this campaign then?
What happens when Westerners stop darkening their skin and say Oh no no! This is no longer in? What happens then?

What about the young girls who just want to build confidence?
I pray they don’t go through the hell that I did.
“But teasing it builds character. It gives you thicker skin.”

Little brown girls wouldn’t need thicker skin if we learned how to love one another
Instead of sorting and comparing our browns, we lifted each other up complimenting each other’s crowns.

 

*I have so many poems and posts that are in my drafts. Today I was feeling this one. ☺️ Happy Wednesday.

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