Cuffing season is coming to a close and a lot of us haven’t even been drafted. We’re not even on the practice team! Recently I sat reflecting why are so many amazing millennials single? I’ve met some of these amazing people some are single by choice and others are rather interesting.  I’m in no way a scientist at relationships and being single but I’m very observant and self-aware (it’s about balance). It seems a lot of people are single for very similar reasons and if they would just communicate or step out of their bubble they could maybe…date each other. These reasons aren’t all the answers to what’s happening in today’s society because if I had all the answers, why even bother blogging or writing?

We have (way) too many options.

Somewhere on the Internet, Aziz Ansari explained his issue with toothbrush shopping. He explained how he had never had problems with his toothbrush but when he went shopping for one he never realized how many there were. Why are there so many toothbrushes?  When you have so many options you find yourself questioning if there’s something better out there. In this super fast social media society there’s always going to be something or someone better out there but if we keep lingering on this “something better” attitude, we’re going to miss what’s in front of us. Sometimes I question if our great-great-grandparents had it easier. They didn’t have the internet and married their neighbors because they didn’t know anything better. We have the whole world at our fingertips and we’re looking to find a forever with just one of them.  If that’s not magical math, I don’t know what is.

Our expectations are high (like really high)

Disney princesses ruined it for all of us. Relationships aren’t like a romantic comedy and we’re pretty sure the compromise part of every romantic movie has been cut for time.  Everyone so suddenly has a list of everything their significant other has to have and leaves very little wiggle room for reality.  Some even break down what they want in their person physically and please know life is not a game of The Sims. You cannot build your ideal mate. The sooner in life you accept it the smoother life will be. A lot of people are expecting their significant other to save them or bring unrealistic things to the table. Sometimes the creator of the wishlist doesn’t even have said table. You can’t expect things from people that you can’t even provide. Relationships are a balance between complement and compromise.  Know when to utilize both skills. Ask yourself if your list of qualifications for your ideal mate is realistic?

Hurt people hurt people

Last but not very least, a lot of people are single because they’re very much so hurt. Relationships fail and even after it’s over it’s a tough pill to swallow. I’ve heard handfuls of people say they never want to fall in love again or get married because someone hurt them in one way or another. Deciding to give up on love really only hurts the person giving up on said emotion.  Falling out of love is supposed to hurt or it wasn’t real. Staying single and alone forever sounds appealing to some but we as humans weren’t meant for it. Playing the field forever also sounds nice to some people but it eventually gets exhausting. There is a nice chunk of people who have sworn off love because of a past relationship that failed. Imagine putting all that energy you put into loving the wrong person into the right relationship. No one ever wants to end up in the wrong relationship but it takes a few wrong ones to find the right one.  Just be over your past before moving on or that could end up bad for everyone involved.

Some people are toasting to another year of the single life this winter and others are reflecting on their relationship status. There’s nothing wrong with being single because before and after relationships it’s important to be okay with your relationship with yourself before you can be that person for someone else.