Five years ago I wrote a letter to my 31 year old self and today I’m finally looking back at it. Talk about restraint. I’m smiling as I get through it because my 2015 problems definitely weren’t anything and they weren’t ready for 2020 social distancing.

Adulthood is still one big panic after another. Not much has changed in that realm but I’m managing. As a professional optimist I still haven’t let anything dim my shine even as I write from my one bedroom apartment following a shelter-in-place order hoping this social distance thing will flatten the curve and or help find a cure to this Covid-19 thing.

It took me almost a decade to realize my last relationship was toxic and now I actually do have a healthy relationship. The crazy thing is I wasn’t even looking for a relationship and it just kind of happened.

After resigning from being a flight attendant I made an effort and smashed it to visit two places a year with one of them being new. Since the post went up I’ve hiked in the mountains in Vegas, ziplined in a jungle in Belize, snorkeled in Costa Maya, and enjoyed baecations in the Bahamas and Vegas. I now have a habit of going to Escape Rooms in any city I visit.

I still struggle with putting myself on the top of my priority list because I want to help everyone. At least I’m acknowledging my fault in that department. I can’t save everyone! 31 is teaching me to say, “no”, “I don’t have it”, or “For the sake of my sanity, I don’t want to do that.”

I’ve published 11 books including some of my very own and that smashed the record of 3 I was aiming for but I somehow surprise myself constantly.

It’s 2020, and I’m shocked that 26 year old me expected 31 year old me to have a tiny human of some sort. The economy is not set up for that. I’ll settle for a fluffy puppy or some sort. My student loans alone doesn’t want me to have a family or a house. The economy is still driven by capitalism and greed.

One thing that I didn’t foresee in this letter was me working in IT, being the younger mayor in my Borough history, and being mentally content. If this whole social distancing thing doesn’t drive everyone mad hopefully this will have been worth it. Maybe I should write a letter to 36 to look back five years later and see how much has changed.

I wasn’t far off from my dreams. I just wasn’t dreaming big enough. – Me 

xoxo

Daé

Dear Self,

When you open this in the year 2020 you’ll probably smile amused by 2015 problems. You have a thing for stressing out about small things and hopefully you’ll grow out of that by 30. It’s weird because you also see the bright things in most situations. I may come off as chill but on the inside a lot of big decisions make me panic. Adulthood is one big panic after the next.

Hopefully you’ll have visited many places around the world and hopefully you will have gotten it together and have a functional relationship. It only took almost a decade for you to make it happen.

Hopefully you’ve published at least two (no three) more novels and inspired others to let their imaginations run wild. Hopefully you’re still holding on to your bright optimistic spirit and not allowing the pessimists in the world to cloud your sunny days. You’ve always been awesome at refusing to give up. Stay that way.

I imagine five years from now you might have a little human that’s just as quirky as you. I know I say I don’t want children but a lot can change in five years. Eventually I’ll get tired of buying dresses and shoes and want to share my awesomeness with someone else.

By then, I imagine I will have figured out a healthy balance of how to help everyone without sacrificing my happiness. Being selfless is exhausting but I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

Hopefully by 2020 you’ll hang up your incessant need to be a professional nomad and you’ll settle down in a quaint house.

I know you’ll be okay because your 20s are over and you made it to 31. If you can get past your 20s you can get past anything. (Because your 20s are insane).

Please still be a dreamer with a knack for seeing the bright side of things. Please let dating be better in 2020. Please also let the smartphones become more durable over the years so we won’t need cases. Hopefully I’ll have perfected the selfie by 2020.

xoxo

Dae’