“The man of the house does the yard work” and stuff like that. Someone very very close explained to me and I nodded in disappointment. You know that nod. The “I’m nodding because I respect you but, I’m a millennial and I’m shaking my head inside” nod speaks volumes.

Growing up at times my mom worked two jobs and when she couldn’t find a sitter she took us to work with her. I still have memories of playing N64 with my brothers upstairs while my mom was bartending and I thought nothing of it. I enjoyed the free pop and BBQ chips.

There’s no such thing as women tasks and men tasks anymore and for anyone to tell me differently I will look at them like they’re stupid. My mom raised me and as someone who grew up with mostly brothers I’ll lend a hand as long as it doesn’t concern bugs. I’ve learned to adapt, try my best, and not be too hard on myself. I also don’t applaud myself for mediocrity because as a black woman I don’t have that luxury.

“Women do this and men do that,” is the best way to lose my attention. If I see the trash is full, something needs fixed, or the lawn needs tended to, I’m not gonna wait for the “man of the house.” Watching my mother succeed taught me that I could be anything I wanted and it kinda ruined social norms for me. The strong black woman shouldn’t intimidate the right man. It should actually attract admiration, as I may bend but I do not break. I know I have to work twice as hard as my counterparts for just the simplistic admiration.

“I don’t complain about life I adapt”

Big Sean