On why relationships should be evaluated like careers

By now you’ve probably heard of the term “quiet quitting.” Some say this act of not going above and beyond at work is an act of rebellion and others say it’s a reaction to burnout and or hustle culture. Either way, this act of just doing the bare minimum got me thinking about this behavior and if it was found in other aspects of life, specifically relationships.

Just going with the flow and coasting in a relationship sounds good but is it really great? Without waves or paddles, a boat just drifts aimlessly with no rhyme or reason, and it sounds like some sort of punishment. Conflict resolution, communication, and intimacy are the paddles and waves in this metaphor. Some see conflict and think, “the horror.” But honestly, as long as said conflict doesn’t involve a third party, conflicts are usually growth opportunities. We all know that like a plant that if there is no growth in a relationship and or career, that thing is dying.

So back to this quiet quitting concept in relationships rather they’re friendships or intimate, how can you tell if the other person is giving their 100 percent or just the bare minimum? It got me thinking about a career tool that could assess relationships, foster growth, create accountability, and create clarity in your relationships… the one-on-one meeting.

Some hate their regular one-on-one meetings and others like the idea. The one-on-one meetings usually happen between an employee and a manager to check on the employee and ensure that this person knows that they’re supported, knows their goals, and is checked in. Goals, likes, dislikes, aspirations, and announcements are usually discussed regularly.

Imagine, now and then checking in with another person on a personal level and discussing goals, aspirations, likes, and dislikes. This isn’t likes as in your favorite color as by now the both of you should be beyond that. This is more of, “in the past month I liked when you did x and that made me feel y” or “I disliked when you did x and made me feel y.” This keeps things from being bottled up and lets everyone’s feelings be known. Not only is giving feedback important here but so is listening to hear and not just to respond. This little bit of structure might help with communication, build a deeper level of communication, and ensure that you both have similar or at least aligned goals. This saves time as time is the worst thing to waste as you never get it back. If you find that you have different likes and dislikes or goals that’s alright as long as you both are feeling supported. Being in a relationship with someone exactly like you might work for you and some people prefer opposites. Like a job try asking the other person if they’re clear on the space they’re in or if they need help with something as sometimes asking for help is hard.

It all sounds weird I know but I imagine it would create and maintain healthy boundaries, communication, and expectations. Would you try personal check-ins with a friend or on a relationship level? Do you think that people can quietly quit a relationship without the other person knowing?

All healthy relationships are give and take, not tit for tat but each person should be doing the giving and taking and pouring into each other, without someone being taken advantage of.

@justdae