“Oh we together but we’re not together together.”
Is it though? Is it really that complicated? Sis, you deserve better and if you’re still tip toeing through the dreaded situationship, you’re single until you and the other person exchange some kind of labels. So many people claim that labels are terrible and that they’re only for jeans, and labels are constraining, but it’s not 2006 and we’re getting older and hopefully wiser. This whole let’s do what people in relationships do but not label it thing is a bit selfish.
Lots of peeps complain about girlfriends doing wifey things which is acceptable in my millenial playbook as that’s practice. My generation has taken this a bit further though and we have friends doing girlfriend things. Where do you go from there? In my early 20s that was a thing but going into my 30s I’m like, “eww choose.” How do you live in this upside down limbo?
Recently, I read a rant (but I’mma call it a quote) saying that you’re single until you’re not because it’s complicated isn’t a status it’s a statement. My aunt said something a while back that stuck with me. Dating is dating multiple people until you’re exclusive because you could be out here treating one guy like the one, meanwhile you’re one of many.
“I don’t like labels. Let’s just figure it out.” Real cute but after seven years on and off in a situationship, I see the signs and the error of my ways. Sit down. Have a mature conversation and if he’s afraid to answer, “what are we” then you’re nothing and if he hits you with the, “we’re just friends” take it for what it is. My ex would “friend zone” me when we fell out and the last time I hit him with the, “friends don’t do x, y, z, and if I can’t have more than I want none of you.” It was hard but liberating!
In a sense, treating dating like you would do a job is important because unlike a job, dating isn’t making you money but you’re investing time and time you don’t get back. It wasn’t all a waste of time though because I got a lot of raw poetry out of it and August 1st I’m dropping probably my only poetry book. Back to dating though…after a while being in a never ending situationship is like going to work every day without a paycheck. If that’s your kind of thing, kudos to you. If not, figure it out soon.